Learning to Live Again
by DulcieFlorbelle
Summary: They were almost happy. Almost able to forget about all the horrible things happening in the world that existed outside of the two of them. And they both clung to this happiness with all that they had left. An on-going collection of Nellis related one shots that I will update as I write them! Mainly just wanted to explore different aspects of their relationship and all that. Enjoy!
1. On Fire

It had been an honest mistake the first time he touched Ellis's ass.

The next twenty or so times however were not mistakes.

It was an escape. Whenever the two of them came together. More often than not, they were dirty and sweaty, all hands and mouths. This ceased to bother them long ago. They were just grateful, both for their lives and each other.

This gratitude was expressed in a multitude of ways. Even now, he never ceased to bite his lip, and look upon his partner with the tenderest of eyes, asking for what he still couldn't say. Those damn gorgeous eyes that were way more open than the man who possessed them. Eyes that still couldn't decide what color they were. Ellis swore they changed every day.

The younger man smiled and nodded his consent, shivering against the warm waves that threatened to consume him as large yet deft hands ran down his chest and dry lips kissed and sucked at the sensitive flesh of his neck. His own hand was clamped over his mouth, holding back the soft moans that were drawn from him so easily. His lips were always sore now, loved raw from rough kisses or bitten harshly, trying not to make a sound.

At first he thought these little moments meant something different to each of them.

But no, Nick never fucked Ellis. He was always hesitant, gentle to a fault at times. And the smouldering looks he shot at the mechanic were too much. This wasn't fucking. No. This was making love.

The phrase itself had always sounded silly. Didn't make sense till now.

It was a surprise, a good one though. Though he had always suspected there was far more to Nick than he let on.

He always made sure that Ellis was ready and prepared to take him, never out just for his own pleasure. No one was ever left unsatisfied. Heh. Satisfied, what an understatement. Maybe it was just because human interaction was so reduced now, but what they had together was nothing short of perfect.

It was new territory for Nick, in a hell of a lot more ways than one. But he knew what felt good in general and gladly spent the time learning each little thing that made Ellis's toes curl. There was nothing he loved more, seeing the red hot blush spread from Ellis's cheeks all the way down his tanned chest, watching and _feeling_ his muscles twitching.

These brief moments of togetherness were made somehow more special by the secrecy of it all. They didn't even have to say anything, just a look was exchanged and they knew it was time to find a semi-secluded space. The other members of their little group never said anything about their frequent scouting together. If they knew something, they didn't bother saying so.

At times they too would act like it were random.

Ellis had lost count of the amount of times Nick had pulled him around a corner or into a dilapidated building by his hand, stealing kiss after kiss from desperate lips. These were brief, but fulfilling moments of respite. Ellis was also guilty of bumping or rubbing Nick's legs under a table now and then. And the healing… well, with healing their hands _might've_ lingered just a bit too long.

They were almost happy. Almost able to forget about all the horrible things happening in the world that existed outside of the two of them. And they both clung to this happiness with all that they had left.

If nothing else, they still had each other.


	2. Risk and Reward

The first time Nick said those three words ended up being when he thought it'd be the last time he was alive. After that he'd learned to never be greedy and keep them to himself anymore. They were long overdue. Because there was no way to tell how much time they had left together.

It wasn't the I and the you that mattered so much as the word that came between. This was what carried so much weight. So much meaning. Nick couldn't remember the last time he'd said it and actually meant it.

Ellis of course, returned the sentiment, squeezing his hand gently. They were silent for a while after that. What more was there to say?

"What the fuck were you thinking?" The once mechanic sighed, shaking his head. "I thought I'd lost you.."

"Come on.. I thought it'd be romantic." Nick joked weakly, managing a small half-smile.

In truth, there was no thinking involved when he saw a Tank charging directly for Ellis. Only action was needed. He had managed to pull Ellis away, but also put himself directly in the path. If Ellis had taken a hit like that.. in the condition he was in... it would've been over. Done. Game over. And Nick wasn't about to stand idly by and watch that happen.

"Don't joke about this.. I didn't- You didn't have to be a hero, Nick."

"Ellis, has it ever occurred to you that maybe I can't stand the thought of losing you either?" Nick pulled his hand from Ellis's, his mouth set in a firm line. He tried to set up then decided against it, his ribs were still healing. And probably would be healing for a while yet.

"M'sorry. I'm grateful for it and all. You just.. just really scared me." Ellis said softly, not daring to meet his eyes.

"Yeah. Well, don't expect an apology. I don't regret what I did." Nick crossed his arms in front of his bandaged chest, noticing the look Ellis had adopted. "Oh come on, don't give me that look."

"What look?"

He had to know what he was doing. There was no way that sad puppy look wasn't practiced as fuck. Well practiced enough for it to actually work.

Nick sighed tiredly, "If you plan to sit here all night you may as well join me."

The only slightly broken man patted what mattress there was left next to him, a resigned look washed over his features. Ellis accepted the invitation, cuddling up to Nick's side a little too insistently. The action had become all too normal.

"Fuck, take it easy Ellis." He chided, wincing.

"I'm just happy bout what you said.." Ellis confessed, easing off of Nick. Only a little.

"Oh? That? I could've said it anytime."

"True.. but you actually meant it."

"Yeah.. you got me there, killer." Nick wrapped his arm around Ellis loosely, rubbing his back.

"And uh.. it was kinda cool, Nick. You comin' to my rescue like that." He confessed, directing a gentle smile up at the other man.

"Heh. I'm glad it looked cool. It definitely didn't feel like it." Nick responded, "But I wouldn't have had to save you if you were better at.. well, everything."

Ellis's smile dropped as he heard that, knowing that the constant snark was Nick's way didn't make being on the receiving end any more pleasant. "Nick, you're awful."

"So I've been told." He shrugged, not really having meant his earlier words.

"Didn't someone teach you how be nice to people?" Ellis mock scolded, tipping Nick's chin up gently.

"I.. I might need a refresher." He grasped Ellis's wrist, smirking. "A really gentle one."

"Oh? Then I guess I'll see what I can do." The mechanic couldn't help the smile that found its way to his lips again as he leant in for a kiss.

They would be tired the next day, but that wasn't even a factor anymore.


	3. It'll Be Okay

It was happening again. Like it almost always did. Never got any easier to watch though. He was freezing and sweating at the same time, a pained expression on his youthful features, hands clutching at the sheets. Any second now.

Ellis gasped, sitting up abruptly. He looked panicked for a few seconds before realizing where he was.

"I'm here." Nick said softly as to not startle him.

The young man looked over to his bed partner with wide and scared eyes, still trying to discern what was real, no doubt. He then moved into Nick's open arms, still shaking a little. Fuck, he was cold.

"It's okay. I'm right here." He whispered, trying to rub warmth into Ellis's back.

"It was a bad one.." Came an uncertain voice, sounding small.

"I know." Nick frowned, brushing away damp strands of hair from Ellis's forehead.

They stayed like that, Nick listening to Ellis breathe while Ellis listened to Nick's heart. He had calmed down now. And he was even beginning to warm up.

"If you want to talk about it, I'll listen." Nick offered, gently kissing the top of Ellis's head.

"Thank you.. But not yet." He responded, curling more in towards the other man. "I would like you to stay up with me though.. if that ain't a problem."

"Always." Nick breathed, embracing Ellis and giving his body a light squeeze.

Ellis could feel secure in these arms, because he knew the man they belonged to would protect him. He knew these nightmares he faced were not real. Even while having them, he knew this. But damn if they didn't feel real.

Nick never once criticized him for this. And Ellis could tell that Nick had nightmares of his own often. Maybe even before everything went to shit. He just knew how to cope with them. He always quietly admired that, how strong the older man was when faced with their reality.

"Nick, I-" Ellis started, his fingers finding his partner's hand in the dark.

"You don't have to say it." Nick interrupted. "This is what I'm here for. And if I have my way, I won't be leaving anytime soon, okay? You're not alone, El."

This, he could believe, as it were the most honest thing he had ever heard from Nick. It wasn't often he turned serious like this, but when he did he always said what he meant. Ellis always enjoyed seeing these cracks form, allowing him to catch a glimpse of who the man truly was.

He knew Nick was damaged too, maybe even more than anyone else. He was just better at hiding it, keeping it inside. It was obvious at times. When he thought no one was looking, his face would fall, his eyes looking somewhere far away, appearing uncomfortable in his own skin. In these moments it was when he looked old and tired. Not so much his features, just his eyes. Nick was no stranger to pain or trauma. His lips tasted of alcohol more often than not.

"I'm here for you too, Nick." He tipped his head up, meeting the constant storm that lived in Nick's eyes. "I hope you know that."

"I do." Nick offered a small smile in return, one that didn't quite reach his eyes.

Ellis was happy enough with that answer alone though, as he knew it would take time to soften the cruel edges that made up Nick's defenses. Right now, this was enough.

"You should try to sleep now, if you can." Nick said, noticing the soft glow piercing the spaces in the boarded window. They had a couple hours more, at best. And it was dangerous to run on little sleep now. Maybe even fatal.

"I know, I know." Ellis sighed, though he delighted in that way that Nick cared so much for his well being. Their relationship now was a far cry from what it had been when they met.

The mechanic moved to lay down on top of Nick, leaning in for a brief kiss before settling on his chest, strong arms immediately finding their place around him. He had a feeling that this time his rest would be uninterrupted. He was tired almost always now.

"You know there's room to like... I don't know. Spread out, right?" Nick stated, amused. Ever since they had to share a sleeping bag, it had become the norm to sleep like this. A weird comfort thing.

"Yep. I know. And I ain't moving." Ellis grinned, placing his palm flat on Nick's chest.

He sighed, "Somehow I knew you'd say that."

"What's the matter, am I too much for you?"

"Yeah, no. You wish." Nick quipped back. "Anyways, shush. Sleep. Now. That's an order."

"Mm. Yes, sir." Ellis said softly, smiling against Nick's chest as he found it become more and more difficult to keep his eyes open.

"Shit. I like the sound of that." Nick whispered back, continuing to rub circles into Ellis's back as he fell asleep.

When he was sure that Ellis was sleeping comfortably, he too allowed himself to rest. Nick was glad he was a light sleeper. It always allowed him to be there when Ellis needed him most. He couldn't make the nightmares stop, but he could be there to soothe them. And _this_ , he was willing to do. Always.


End file.
